Quick answer
In the week before mediation, prepare:
- your main issues
- your preferred outcome
- your fallback position
- documents and dates
- children’s current routine
- financial facts
- what you will not discuss
- what agreement would look like in writing
Mediation rewards clarity. Not performance. Do not sign final documents unless you understand their legal effect.
The week before matters
Mediation is not the day to discover what you want.
If you arrive with a foggy position, the fog becomes expensive. If you arrive with revenge, the room becomes useless. If you arrive with a clear proposal, you at least give the process something to work with.
For the mediation vs lawyers decision, read mediation vs lawyers first.
If there is family violence, coercive control, intimidation, safety risk or a serious power imbalance, tell the FDR practitioner before the session. FDR may be adjusted, delayed, run with safeguards, or found unsuitable.
The three things you must prepare
Use Atlas Admin to build your pre-mediation prep list: documents, your position on each issue and what you are willing to agree to.
1. The issue list
Keep it short:
- care pattern
- handover
- school holidays
- communication
- child support or expenses
- property or mortgage
- documents needed
2. Your proposal
For each issue, write:
- what I want
- why it helps the kids or resolves the practical issue
- what I can compromise on
- what I cannot agree to
3. Your evidence
Bring facts, not thunder.
- current care calendar
- school timetable
- payment records
- mortgage statements
- valuations if relevant
- medical or school information
- prior written agreements
Prepare your opening
Use this:
“The main issues I want to resolve today are [issue], [issue] and [issue]. My priority is a practical arrangement that works for the children and is clear enough to follow.”
Then stop.
What the other person might raise
Prepare for:
- claims you changed the arrangement
- money complaints
- parenting criticisms
- holiday disputes
- communication complaints
- who pays for what
- new partners
- school logistics
Do not be shocked on the day. Shock is expensive.
Common mistakes
Bringing every grievance
Mediation is not a museum tour.
Having no fallback
If your first proposal is the only acceptable outcome, you may not be mediating. You may be announcing.
Agreeing because you are tired
A bad agreement made from exhaustion can create months of repairs.
Forgetting the written form
Ask how any agreement will be recorded and what the next step is.
The practical next step
Write a one-page mediation sheet:
- three issues
- three preferred outcomes
- three fallback positions
- documents to bring
- questions to ask
One page. Bring that.
Sources and resources
Last checked: 20 May 2026.
This article is general information, not legal, financial or medical advice. Check the current rules before acting on anything money, court or health related. If there is family violence, coercive control, risk to children, urgent housing risk or court orders in place, get professional advice before relying on a checklist.
