Plain-English answers for Australian parents, organised by the five Atlas phases. Find the section that sounds most like where you are.
You are not fully separated yet, but you know something is coming. You may still be in the same house. The job of this phase is quiet preparation — not escalation, not fantasy.
You do not need the whole future decided before you start preparing sensibly. You can understand the money, gather documents, check housing options and think about the kids without making dramatic announcements or forcing a decision before you are ready.
Next step: Use Atlas Finances to build the first private version of the numbers.
Start with information. Know what money comes in, what money goes out, where key documents are, what accounts exist, what the housing options are and what the kids' practical needs would be if the household changed.
Next step: Create a quiet prep list in Atlas Admin.
Do not empty accounts, threaten court, announce half-formed plans to the kids, start a war over passwords or make permanent financial choices from fear. Preparation is not the same as escalation.
Next step: Put worries and questions into Atlas Admin before turning them into action.
Living together while emotionally separated is common, especially when money and housing are tight. The practical questions matter: sleeping arrangements, bills, parenting duties, boundaries, visitors, privacy and what the kids are being told.
Next step: Record current agreements and unresolved questions in Atlas Admin.
Not automatically. Whether you move out depends on safety, money, kids, housing, legal advice and the practical reality inside the home. Do not assume that staying solves everything or that leaving means you have lost everything.
Next step: Model stay/go housing scenarios in Atlas Finances.
This can be legally and practically complicated, especially if both people have rights connected to the home. If there is immediate safety risk, seek urgent specialist help. Otherwise, get legal advice before changing locks in a way that escalates the situation.
Next step: Record the safety or access issue in Atlas Admin, then get advice.
Gather bank statements, mortgage or rent records, payslips, tax returns, super statements, loan documents, insurance, property records, car records, school information, medical information and major bills. Do not hide or destroy documents. The aim is to understand the picture.
Next step: Build a document checklist in Atlas Admin.
Make a rough version of the current household budget, then a possible separated budget. You are looking for the gap: rent or mortgage, kids' costs, transport, food, debt, legal costs and any support you may need.
Next step: Build both versions in Atlas Finances.
Sometimes, yes. A first legal appointment can help you understand risks, documents, parenting, property, housing and what not to do. You do not need to start a fight to ask sensible questions.
Next step: Prepare your questions in Atlas Admin. See also: The first lawyer appointment.
Put the questions into buckets: money, kids, housing, legal/admin and support. Then separate what needs quiet preparation from what needs action now. Most Waiting Room panic comes from trying to solve a future week with tonight's nervous system.
Next step: Use Atlas Goals to choose one quiet preparation task.
Separation is real and the immediate problems are loud. Sleep is rough. Money is unclear. The kids may be unsettled. The job of this phase is not rebuilding — it is fewer bad decisions.
Start with what reduces chaos: money, passwords, documents, kids' arrangements, housing and one place to track what needs doing. Do not try to solve the whole separation in the first week.
Next step: Use Atlas Admin to create your first action list. See also: The first 30 days after separation.
Safety, access and basic stability. Make sure you can access money, email, banking, your phone, key documents and at least one support person. If there is any risk of family violence, get specialist help immediately.
Next step: Start a private first-24-hours checklist in Atlas Admin.
Do not empty accounts, send furious messages, use the kids as messengers, hide information, make threats or force big decisions from panic. Survive is about stabilising the situation, not winning the whole thing by Thursday.
Next step: Write the facts in Atlas Admin before responding.
Cover the essentials: where everyone sleeps, what money is available, when the kids are with each parent, what documents are needed, what legal questions exist and who can support you. You are building a floor.
Next step: Use Atlas Goals to choose two priorities for the week.
Build a rough budget with three columns: known, estimated and unknown. Include income, rent or mortgage, food, transport, kids, debt, legal, utilities and child support assumptions. The first version will be ugly. That is fine.
Next step: Build the first version in Atlas Finances.
Duplicate utilities, setup costs, school expenses, transport, legal appointments, insurance, subscriptions, furniture, food for two homes and the gap between pay cycles. The rent or mortgage is only the obvious part.
Next step: Add one-off and recurring costs to Atlas Finances. See: Seven things you forget about money when you separate.
You may need to look at timing, temporary housing, shared care logistics, Centrelink eligibility, child support estimates, family support, legal advice or a different housing path. Start with the numbers before judging yourself.
Next step: Model the rental gap in Atlas Finances. See: The I cannot afford rent problem after separation.
Think beyond rent. Include bond, first rent, moving costs, furniture, utilities, groceries, transport, school logistics and the cashflow gap between moving and the next pay cycle.
Next step: Build a move-out scenario in Atlas Finances.
Do not stop important joint expenses without understanding the consequences. Mortgage, rent, utilities, insurance and kids' costs can affect practical stability and later negotiations. If unsure, get advice.
Next step: Track shared expenses in Atlas Finances and agreements in Atlas Admin.
The mortgage still needs to be paid, but who contributes and how it is recognised can be disputed. Keep records of payments, agreements and missed contributions.
Next step: Track payments in Atlas Finances and notes in Atlas Admin. See: The mortgage after separation.
Child support is generally based on a formula that considers each parent's income, the costs of the children and care percentage. Services Australia handles official assessments, although some parents also make private arrangements.
Next step: Use the Atlas child support estimator for a rough planning number, then check the official process.
Use scenarios. Build one budget with no child support, one with a rough estimate and one with the amount you think is most likely. That shows which decisions are safe and which depend on a number that may change.
Next step: Put all three scenarios into Atlas Finances.
Not always, but a first legal information session can prevent expensive mistakes. Ask about immediate risks, documents, parenting, property, housing, timing and what not to do.
Next step: Prepare a question list in Atlas Admin. See: The first lawyer appointment.
Ask what matters now, what can wait, what documents to gather, what not to do, what the likely process is and what you can handle without paying for every email. The goal is clarity, not handing over your whole life in one meeting.
Next step: Build your appointment prep in Atlas Admin.
Yes, especially if sleep, stress, anxiety, mood, work or parenting capacity is being affected. A GP can help with health checks, mental health plans where appropriate, referrals and support options.
Next step: Put the appointment in Atlas Admin. See: The GP appointment after separation.
Write down the unresolved issue, choose the next tiny action and move the problem out of your head into a system. Night is terrible at solving legal, money and parenting problems. It is good at making them louder.
Next step: Park tomorrow's action in Atlas Admin or Atlas Goals.
The immediate fires are lower, but life is still fragile. There is a care rhythm, even if it is clunky. The job is to make the two-household system repeatable. The error in this phase is moving too fast.
Keep it simple, calm and age-appropriate. Children need to know what is changing, what is staying steady and that the separation is not their fault. They do not need adult detail or blame.
Next step: Plan the practical rhythm in Atlas Kids Week. See: How to tell the kids when you separate.
Do not ask them to choose sides, carry messages, keep secrets or manage adult emotions. Even if the other parent has behaved badly, the child should not become the courtroom.
Next step: Put adult issues into Atlas Admin, not through the kids.
The hard part is not only the custody pattern. It is school bags, uniforms, homework, sport, meals, medication, house rules, screen time and handovers.
Next step: Build the rhythm in Atlas Kids Week. See: Kids week on, kids week off.
Make handovers predictable, brief and child-focused. Agree on time, place, bags, medication, school items and what happens if someone is late. The less improvisation, the better.
Next step: Put handover details into Atlas Kids Week.
A useful parenting plan covers living arrangements, time with each parent, holidays, school, medical decisions, communication, handovers, travel and how changes are handled. It needs to work on a bad Tuesday.
Next step: Use Atlas Kids Week to test whether the plan works in real life. See: Parenting plans.
A parenting plan is a written agreement between parents. Parenting orders are court orders. The difference matters because enforceability and process are not the same, so get advice if the arrangement needs legal weight.
Next step: Record your questions for a lawyer or FDR practitioner in Atlas Admin.
Use shorter messages, fewer issues per message and a clear request. If the silence affects the kids, money or safety, document the pattern and consider whether mediation or legal advice is needed.
Next step: Track contact attempts in Atlas Admin. See: Communication with a difficult ex.
Low-trust co-parenting needs structure, not constant emotional negotiation. Keep communication clear, written where appropriate, child-focused and boring. Document what matters without documenting every irritation.
Next step: Use Atlas Admin for records and Atlas Kids Week for routine. See: Co-parenting when you do not trust your ex.
Care percentage is based on how much care each parent has over a period, often counted by nights or care arrangements. It can affect child support and some family assistance payments.
Next step: Put the actual care rhythm into Atlas Kids Week, then review Atlas Finances.
Some separated parents may be eligible for Family Tax Benefit depending on income, care arrangements and other rules. Shared care can affect how payments are assessed. Check Services Australia for your situation.
Next step: Put possible payments into Atlas Finances as estimates until confirmed. See: Family Tax Benefit, Centrelink and Parenting Payment.
Possibly, depending on care, income, assets and other eligibility rules. Do not assume you are ineligible because you work, share care or have never claimed before.
Next step: Check official eligibility, then model the possible amount in Atlas Finances.
It can. Child support, care percentage and family assistance can interact, so check Services Australia before relying on a rough number. For planning, keep child support and benefits as separate assumptions.
Next step: Track both lines separately in Atlas Finances.
Look at banking, credit cards, utilities, internet, streaming, insurance, mobile plans, cloud storage, subscriptions, car accounts, school portals and shared shopping accounts.
Next step: Build an account split list in Atlas Admin. See: The separation admin nobody warns you about.
Start with email, banking, phone, cloud storage, Apple ID or Google account, password manager, super, MyGov, utilities and anything connected to money or private documents. Email matters most because it often controls password resets.
Next step: Create a password and access checklist in Atlas Admin.
Write down agreements, important conversations, parenting changes, missed payments, incidents, expenses, deadlines and decisions. Keep it factual. Future-you needs a record, not a diary written in anger.
Next step: Keep the record in Atlas Admin. See: What to write down after separation.
Mediation is a structured process where an independent person helps parties try to resolve disputes. In parenting matters, family dispute resolution is often part of the pathway before court, unless an exemption applies.
Next step: Use Atlas Admin to separate issues into parenting, property, money and documents. See: Mediation vs lawyers.
Prepare the issues, facts, your preferred outcome, what you can compromise on and what you cannot agree to. Bring documents, timelines and a clear summary.
Next step: Build your pre-mediation checklist in Atlas Admin. See: How to prepare for mediation.
If mediation does not resolve the dispute, the next step depends on the issue, any certificate issued, legal advice and whether court is appropriate. Failed mediation is not the end of the road — it means the process needs another stage.
Next step: Record unresolved issues and next questions in Atlas Admin. See: Mediation failed. Now what?
A Section 60I certificate is connected to family dispute resolution for parenting matters. In many parenting cases, you need to attempt family dispute resolution and have a current certificate before filing in court, unless an exemption applies.
Next step: Ask your FDR practitioner or lawyer what applies and record the answer in Atlas Admin.
The first court event is usually not the dramatic final hearing people imagine. It is often about identifying issues, safety, interim arrangements, directions and what needs to happen next.
Next step: Use Atlas Admin to organise documents, dates and questions. See: Going to family court for the first time.
The basics mostly hold. The budget is not perfect, but you understand it. The kids' rhythm mostly works. You have enough bandwidth to start choosing again. The job of this phase is deliberate momentum.
Start with stability before optimisation. Get the real month visible, stop leaks, build a small buffer, understand child support and housing, then rebuild savings, super and longer-term goals.
Next step: Use Atlas Finances for the month and Atlas Goals for the rebuild sequence. See: Building your finances back after separation.
Document what was expected, what was paid and what has not been paid. If Services Australia is involved, check official options. If it is a private arrangement, you may need advice about next steps.
Next step: Keep a payment record in Atlas Admin.
Some parents make private child support arrangements, but you need to understand what you are agreeing to and whether it should be formalised. A casual arrangement can work until it does not.
Next step: Record any agreement in Atlas Admin and consider advice before relying on it.
Yes. Child support is about ongoing support for children. Property settlement is about dividing assets, liabilities and financial resources after the relationship ends.
Next step: Separate these issues in Atlas Admin. See: Property settlement after separation.
That depends on affordability, market conditions, mortgage stress, kids' stability, legal advice and the broader property settlement. Waiting can create breathing room, but it can also extend financial pressure.
Next step: Put holding costs and sale scenarios into Atlas Finances. See: What happens to the family home.
Start functional before perfect: beds, school gear, food, routines, clothes, medicine, chargers and a calm handover system. The kids do not need a showroom. They need to know the new place works.
Next step: Use Atlas Kids Week for routines and Atlas Finances for setup costs. See: Setting up your place.
Waiting lists are real. While you wait, look at GP follow-up, crisis lines if needed, online support, peer support, workplace EAP, trusted people and basic stabilisers like sleep, food, movement and routine.
Next step: Build an interim support plan in Atlas Goals. See: What to do when you cannot get a psychologist.
Decide who needs to know, what they need to know and what practical support you are asking for. You do not owe everyone the full story.
Next step: Draft the work conversation in Atlas Admin. See: How to explain separation to your workplace.
Separation often changes friendships, family routines and social confidence at the same time. Start small: one honest conversation, one low-pressure plan, one weekly contact.
Next step: Set one social rebuild action in Atlas Goals. See: Your social life after separation.
Do not try to reinvent yourself overnight. Start by noticing what was lost, what is still yours and what you want to practice again. Identity comes back through repeated choices.
Next step: Turn one identity question into a weekly action in Atlas Goals. See: Who are you now?
Set goals that match your phase. Survive goals should be tiny. Stabilise goals should make life repeatable. Rebuild goals can stretch. New Chapter goals can look further ahead.
Next step: Use Atlas Goals to choose one goal for this week. See: The four phases of rebuilding after separation.
A good week is not perfect. It has money visible, kids' logistics handled, one admin task done, one support contact, one health action and fewer avoidable blow-ups.
Next step: Build a weekly anchor in Atlas Goals.
Separation is no longer the centre of every decision. The kids' rhythm is ordinary. The money is clearer. You are planning in years, not just weeks. The job of this phase is direction.
Yes, check them. Many people forget, and the old nomination may no longer reflect what they want. Get advice if the estate, super or family situation is complex.
Next step: Put beneficiary review on your Atlas Admin checklist. See: Superannuation splitting after separation.
Move from survival cashflow to future structure: emergency savings, debt, super, insurance, kids' costs, housing, tax and long-term goals. The New Chapter phase is where small financial habits start compounding again.
Next step: Use Atlas Finances for the numbers and Atlas Goals for the next target. See: Building your finances back after separation.
Start when you have enough stability to be honest, respectful and not use someone else as pain relief. There is no universal timeline, but secrecy, revenge, emotional chaos and unresolved parenting conflict are warning signs.
Next step: Use Atlas Goals to check whether you are rebuilding or escaping. See: Dating after separation.
The practical answer is structure. Keep the parenting rhythm boring, the money visible, records clean and goals pointed forward. The emotional answer takes longer, but it starts when your week is no longer built around their behaviour.
Next step: Use Atlas Goals to choose a forward-facing goal that has nothing to do with your ex.
Look at sleep, money, kids and energy. If all four are struggling, you are probably in Survive. If most are okay but fragile, you are in Stabilise. If they mostly hold and you have capacity to reach, you are in Rebuild. If you are planning in years, you are in New Chapter.
Next step: Set your phase in Atlas Goals. See: The four phases of rebuilding after separation.
This can matter in any phase, but by New Chapter you may be reviewing arrangements with more clarity. Use current legal information and advice for your own situation. Do not rely on old assumptions about parenting law.
Next step: Read the guide, then list your situation-specific questions in Atlas Admin. See: The 2025 family law changes.
General information explains how a process usually works. Legal advice applies the law to your facts, risks and options. A blog post, app or checklist can help you prepare, but it cannot replace advice on your specific situation.
Next step: Use Atlas Admin to prepare for advice so the appointment is focused. See: The first lawyer appointment.
Rules, payments and court processes can change. For your own situation, check current official information or get professional advice.
You do not have to answer every separation question tonight. Find your phase. Answer the question that belongs to that phase. Take the next useful step. That is how the situation gets smaller.