Quick answer

Before your first family lawyer appointment, prepare:

  1. a one-page summary
  2. a timeline of key dates
  3. your children’s current care pattern
  4. the main property, debt and super details
  5. urgent risks or safety issues
  6. your top five questions
  7. the outcome you want advice on, not a speech about everything that happened

The lawyer needs facts, documents and clear questions. Give them those first.

The expensive hour

You finally book the lawyer.

The appointment is 60 minutes. The rate is awful. You arrive with two years of context, six screenshots, a mortgage problem, three parenting worries and a story that technically begins in 2017.

The danger is obvious: you spend the whole hour explaining the relationship and leave without knowing what to do next.

This article is about avoiding that.

If you are still deciding whether you need mediation, lawyers or both, read mediation vs lawyers first.

Prepare a one-page brief

Write one page. Not nine.

Use these headings:

  • names and contact details
  • date of marriage or relationship start
  • date of separation
  • children’s names, ages and current care pattern
  • current living arrangements
  • property, mortgage, savings, debts and super
  • income for each person, if known
  • current legal documents or agreements
  • urgent risks
  • what you want advice on today

Before the appointment, use the Atlas Free Checklist to gather your documents and write out your key questions.

What to bring

Bring the documents that create the legal map:

  • marriage certificate if relevant
  • children’s birth certificates if available
  • any existing parenting plan, orders or written agreements
  • mortgage statements
  • bank statements
  • credit card and loan statements
  • super statements
  • payslips or tax returns
  • property valuation or agent estimate if available
  • Centrelink or child support letters
  • relevant communication screenshots
  • family violence orders or police event numbers if relevant

Do not bring every message your ex has ever sent. Bring the messages that prove a specific point.

The questions to ask

Ask practical questions.

Parenting

  • What arrangement is realistic based on the current pattern?
  • What should I avoid doing before parenting arrangements are formalised?
  • Do I need mediation before court?
  • What evidence matters if communication is difficult?
  • What counts as an urgent parenting issue?

Property and money

  • What is the likely property settlement process?
  • What happens with the mortgage while settlement drags on?
  • Should we get valuations now?
  • How is super treated?
  • What documents should I request first?

Process and cost

  • What are the next three steps?
  • What can I do myself to reduce cost?
  • What should be done by you?
  • What will the next stage likely cost?
  • What would make this matter expensive?

That last question is gold. Ask it.

What not to do

Do not use the appointment as therapy

The emotional story matters. But the lawyer is not there to metabolise it. Use the appointment to protect your position and understand the process.

Book the GP or counsellor appointment for the nervous system. Use the lawyer for the legal map.

Do not ask for certainty where none exists

A good lawyer may say “it depends” because it does. That is not weakness. That is family law refusing to fit into a neat little box.

Push for ranges, risks and likely next steps.

Do not hide bad facts

If you withdrew money, sent terrible messages, used drugs, breached an agreement or stopped paying something, say it early. Your lawyer needs the real version before the other side supplies it with a highlighter.

The five-minute opening script

Use this:

“We separated on [date]. We have [number] children aged [ages]. The current care pattern is [pattern]. The urgent issue is [issue]. The money issue is [issue]. I need advice today on [top question], [second question] and [third question]. I have brought a one-page summary and documents.”

That is the appointment starting cleanly.

After the appointment

Before you leave, ask for:

  • the next step
  • who owns it
  • what documents are needed
  • likely cost
  • deadline
  • what not to do

Then write it down immediately. Legal advice evaporates quickly when you get back to the car.

The useful rule

Your first lawyer appointment should answer one question:

What do I do next without making this worse?

If you leave with that, the hour did its job.

Sources and resources

Last checked: 20 May 2026.

This article is general information, not legal, financial or medical advice. Check the current rules before acting on anything money, court or health related. If there is family violence, coercive control, risk to children, urgent housing risk or court orders in place, get professional advice before relying on a checklist.